central america to self isolation in canada

wheeeew.. to ever guess we would be in the position we all find ourselves in now seems very far fetched. saying that life has been ‘shaken up’ and kept us on our toes feels like a complete understatement. I certainly didn’t think I would be back at my parents now, knee deep into my 10th or more 1000 piece puzzle, having my big weekly outing be the grocery store, and questioning so much of what is to come.

having spent the past five months living, travelling, and working in central america, it felt incredibly disheartening to book a flight back to canada for the following day and leave so abruptly. towards the later end of march, as the state of the world was drastically changing by the minute with new rules and restrictions, border closures, and flight cancellations I knew coming home would be for the best - as devastating as it felt.

unfortunately, due to border closures this also meant canceling a very exciting retreat I was helping co-facilitating with a beautiful group of friends in costa rica. no sooner, I then received a dreaded email from my future employer about laying of all the new staff for the summer season of outdoor guiding that was ahead. everything seemed to come crashing down at once. within a span of 24 hours our retreat was cancelled, I was leaving costa rica, and I lost my much anticipated new job - a straight shot to the heart. returning to canada, I felt defeating, exhausted, and in need of a really big hug.

but during it all, I have felt undeniably grateful to my parents who welcomed me home and given me a safe place to rest and really digest all that happened and has continued to go on. since being back, it has become incredibly important to process and accept. while I certainly struggled with all the losses I felt so suddenly, seeing covid impact the world at large in so many different ways allowed for much more acceptance. by no means, do I mean seeing others struggles help lift me up, but more so in an understanding that we are collectively going through it all together. even if we can’t relate to different challenges that are present for others, we can still be empathetic and understanding. if anything, while we are all being faced with these adversities, it can be a reminder to be gentle with ourselves and those around us, show love, be gracious, take care of ourselves and others, and maybe begin to dive into what comes up for you at this time and lessons that can come out of it all.

since being back now, I’ve come into a nice little groove and daily routine which has helped immensely. daily movement and exercise, time outside, reading endless books, facetime and zoom calls with friends, a consistent yoga practice, puzzling waaaay too much for my own good, watching the office and some documentaries, getting creative in the kitchen, helping my parents in the garden, and simply ‘being’. I won’t try paint the picture of it all days feeling easy, as I’m sure many can relate. some days are really good and I feel at peace, and other moments are filled with discomfort, anxiety, and require a lot more time, patience, and love to work through.

but ultimately, we are all processing and going through this collectively- even when we are apart. and while there is a lot to process, losses to grieve, adjustments to make and sadness from the reality of it all, we have the power to choose our reaction to the adversities we all face.

for me, that means filling my days with the things that truly matter most. practicing gratitude and presence, finding little moments of happiness and joy in every single day, taking care of my emotional and mental wellbeing, reaching out and connect to others, and moving forward one day at a time. because while we are faced with adversity now, we can still choose to rise up, be loving and empathetic, celebrate joys in our lives and learn from this time.

sending a ridiculous amount of love and health to everyone.

xox.