embracing transitions

this past week I wrote an instagram post about my experience leading a pretty unconventional life. for the last five or so years I’ve been very nomadic, living anywhere from the seat of my bicycle, an ecolodge in indonesia, a tent somewhere in the mountains, with a family in guatemala, or a small home with one too many roommates in japan.

all of these experiences have been transformative, meaningful, challenging, joyful, and have continually shaped who I am and how I navigate through the world. but with each new adventure comes a season of transition and the in-between. and this is where I currently sit at this moment.

after finishing a massive season of outdoor guiding and leading hundreds of clients on some pretty amazing trail and ultra running adventures, I packed my bags at the end of october to visit my folks back in canada. I haven’t been here since december of 2020, so it felt like a good time to slow down, reconnect with family, and sink into this period of transition before the next adventure.

at the end of the guiding season, I was thankful for rest and to be grounded in one place for a moment. but in the past, these transition periods, between each new move or season of travel, have felt unsettling. trying to figure out my next move, unpacking my life only to repack and head out again as I set out to make some pretty significant shifts and changes. when it ‘should’ have felt restful to be in one place, previous times left me feeling restless, anxious, and trying my best to adapt to big changes. the thing is, I don’t think I often give myself enough grace to actually see how drastic and often I make these big pivots in my life. it’s obvious, change is inevitable — but constantly moving from one country or continent and being exposed to new cultures, languages, ways of life, and experiences hits a little differently.

however, as I currently bask in the middle ground, this time feels different. instead of feeling anxious for the next step, wallowing in the should’s of life, or feeling stressed about things out of my control, I feel an overwhelming sense of presence, gratitude and deep trust. this month of transitions has given me the space to reflect and integrate lessons from the previous season of life, be present to my current reality, and also feel ready to step into the next chapter. seeing that not every season we go through will bear visible fruit and blossom. sometimes it will be about taking a step back, looking at our weaknesses, laying the groundwork for a stronger foundation (even if we don’t see it at the moment) and later, seeing this time be paramount to discovering our strengths and leading us on the right path.

this time, the biggest difference has been my continual commitment to showing up for my mental and emotional well-being with consistency and effort like never before. I’ve been integrating daily meditation, weekly therapy, pranayama, a continual commitment to my yoga practice, affirmations, visualization, and endless reading. all things I’ve done for years, but now with greater consistency and intention. I’ve been practicing non-attachment to outcomes, releasing expectations, being still with myself, releasing the grip of control, stepping into my feminine energy, and embracing more flow and surrender into my life. ** a quick note about therapy — I feel immensely grateful to work with a great therapist, but I also understand the privilege in this. if you are on the fence about therapy, I highly recommend considering it if it’s available to you. also, if accessibility is an issue feel free to reach out and I’m happy to share things that have worked for me :)

this work is constant. we don’t simply put in the work and magically reach a point to having everything figured out. but this work, these practices, and integrations have helped me take on a whole new understanding of peace and trust. when things get overwhelming (and they certainly still do), implementing these practices has given me space to soften, space to accept, space to surrender, and space to trust.

so as I sit in this period of transition, packing and preparing for my next big move to another continent, I feel the jitters of excitement, but also feel immense peace for where I am in this moment, and that feels pretty dang special.

sending immense love to you today. xo